I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize