I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize