But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
