I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
