If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
