That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize