got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
