So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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