she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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