I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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