like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
