just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize