So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
