Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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