I must be too annoying 4 u.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
