So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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