I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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