He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize