Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
