Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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