Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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