We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
