cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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