You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
