i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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