I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
