just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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