I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize