If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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