PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
