thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
