Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
