I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
