Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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