Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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