We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
