I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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