so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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