I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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