2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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