So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
