you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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