is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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