WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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