After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
