So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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