I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize