Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
