TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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