i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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