Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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