going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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