I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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