My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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