I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
