she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
