I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
