If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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