If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
