He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
