please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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