new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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