Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
