Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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