I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
