Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize